Of Knights and Lost Kings
by SitarPlayerIX
Summary: Lelouch is gone. The painful memory of his murder still haunts Suzaku, and he's left to wonder what could have been. What lengths will he go to, to try to get his second chance? MAJOR SPOILERS FOR R2, ESPECIALLY ITS ENDING. Re-rated M for future chapters.
1. Move 01: Zero

_**Warning: **__This story WILL contain _YAOI_, as in Male on Male relationships as well as sexual relations. If you don't like it, DON'T READ._

_**Pairing: **__SuzaLulu_

___**Rating:** T for swearing and angst. May change later, depending on some decisions I've yet to make.  
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_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Code Geass or its characters, I just like to make them do my (evil) bidding. x3  
_

___**BOLD** indicates emphasis in most cases. In the case of Suzaku screaming, it's there for just that reason. To indicate his scream. xD_  


**Move 01: Zero**

_And here he was in this memory again, the body of his target slumped against him like each time before. He could hardly breathe through the mask and the layers upon layers of clothing as it was, and the tears now pouring out of his eyes weren't helping any. He'd been here many times before; it was still a near nightly dream. Only it had actually happened, so he preferred to call it a memory, regardless of how hard that particular pill was to swallow._

_Next would come the slight stirring as the dying victim leaned back and got his last look. That smile... he'd never forget that smile as long as he lived. He'd never seen the other smile that way for anyone else. That had been **HIS** smile. "S...z...u…" He could hear it, the slowing of the boy's breathing, the gradual stopping of his heart. But still he tried to speak, even through the pain he knew was piercing his whole body. "I..."_

_His hold tightened on the other, as if he were trying to squeeze the pain away. "Shh… everything's okay. You can finally rest now." He could barely contain the urge to throw off the mask and scream, try to save the boy... there had to have been another way... "Su... Su...za...ku... d-don't... cry..." A pang went through his heart every time it got to this point, as he knew it wouldn't be much longer. "I… I... l-lo...ve... y-you..." Then came the light gasp. "Lelouch..." He choked on his tears. No matter how many times he heard it, it always shocked him. And he always whispered "I know," his voice lost in the crowd's cheer._

_---------------  
_

Suzaku Kururugi woke with a slight whimper. He'd been having that same dream ever since he, in the guise of Zero, had killed the new Emperor. Lelouch vi Brittania, his lifelong friend, his sworn brother... hell, he would even go so far as to say he had been his lover, although they'd never really had a chance to get there.

He ruffled his messy brown curls and held his hand there over his face. He'd been so consumed by his hatred for Lelouch for so long... he'd become a different person then. He was driven by the desire to get revenge for Euphemia's untimely death, so blindly raging through that time that he never noticed...

The boy let his hand drop, deciding to just lay there and stare at the ceiling. After Lelouch had died, as per his request, he'd assumed the role of Zero. It actually wasn't half as bad as he'd originally expected. And he was able to move more freely as Zero than Lelouch had ever been, now that Nunnally was Empress. And the world was at peace, finally... he couldn't help but smile at that. "This is what you wanted, huh, Lelouch?"

That had been his goal all along; he'd confessed it to Suzaku during his last few days. A world where Nunnally could live in peace, and if it could happen, that all its people would be happy alongside her. Suzaku gripped a fistful of his shirt over his heart. But Lelouch had never said anything about **THAT**, not until the very end...

If he had known... If he had known, then... He let the thought trail off. He'd visit the grave and talk to Lelouch later. It always seemed to help him. Even when he was on all fours in front of the headstone in the pouring rain, hysterical and screaming... **"I... I LOVED YOU TOO... YOU SELFISH BASTARD!"** He always cried so much when he visited, always knowing that no amount could ever bring Lelouch back. But he came back every time, like clockwork.

A sharp knock on the door took him from his thoughts. "Zero?" came the voice that accompanied it. Suzaku hurried to pull the disguise on, and preparing to put on that dignified, holier-than-thou attitude that Lelouch had taught him to mastery, he opened the door. There stood Kallen Kozuki, looking as if she had just seen a ghost. "U-Um... Zero-sama..." He nodded his head slightly, indicating that she should continue.

"T-The rest of the Knights... wanted to go out... to celebrate the... um, you know... the occasion today." She took a deep breath. "And... they sent me here to ask if you would like to come along?" He thought about saying no for a moment, he honestly did. But, knowing that it wouldn't be Zero-like... "Very well." He replied mechanically, the mask system obscuring his voice. "Then, if you would please excuse me." Another nod, and she hurried off. He couldn't help but scowl. Barbarians and traitors, all of them. Celebrating such a thing. But then, at least Kallen had tried to look upset, even if it weren't genuine.

Lately he had been wondering if Kallen had figured out exactly who it was that had taken up the role of Zero. She had been acting strangely. He knew she had loved Zero, back when it was Lelouch behind the mask. Whether she still did after everything... well, he didn't really know.

But he was sure a part of her wanted to believe that the person standing before her was still **HER** Zero, that the person killed was a fake Lelouch. And he would never tell her any differently, if that was what she thought. For all intents and purposes, Suzaku Kururugi was dead, and buried under a headstone; which, ironically, was placed right next to where Lelouch's was to be placed.

But regardless, he found it slightly comforting. When he finally did go, it wouldn't matter who had been Zero. He'd be laid to rest next to Lelouch, which was the best thing he could ask for at this point. Of course, no one ever knew this. Lelouch's grave was unmarked, and he knew that there were those out there looking for it, just for the purpose of desecrating it. And that was something that Suzaku just would not stand for. If anyone ever touched Lelouch's grave... even made ill mention of him, Suzaku would kill them.

And he would like to avoid doing so, if he could, as the world was just recovering from The Black Rebellion and all of the subsequent events that occurred. Even if he was Zero now, the very symbol of disruption, he didn't want to be the one responsible for plunging it back into chaos. He retreated back into the room and threw that accursed helmet onto the chair, sitting heavily back onto his bed. Yes, he'd go visit Lelouch. And soon.

-.-.-.-.-**TBC**-.-.-.-.-

_I always appreciate any kind of feedback. If there's a better word than Move, I couldn't think of it. I wanted something that was like the canon ones, Stage and Turn. And when I thought about it, the only thing that came up was Move. Yanno, with the whole chess game theme CG had. xD_

_-Beta'd by the ever lovely UKELICIOUS~ Thanks hun. x3  
_


	2. Move 02: Trump Card

**Move 02: Trump Card  
**

Suzaku had modified a new mask just for occasions like these. It was like another version of the helmet; made of fabric, top spikes and all. It integrated his favorite pair of sunglasses, effectively obscuring his bright green eyes. He knew they would give him away in a heartbeat. A small section was cut out of the bottom so that he could eat. However, the drawback was that he couldn't talk with it on. But it was fine, as he was largely ignored at these type of gatherings. Zero wasn't very social, they teased. He shrugged it all off.

"Z-Zero… is your cake good?" Suzaku fought from making a face. Had she always been this way around Zero, or was this new, since he had taken up the role? It annoyed him slightly, but he played along. He grunted softly in an affirmative manner, noting her smile. His eyes slid over to look out the window.

If anything, this place had a good view. He could give it that. And since they were in Japan, of course they were treated like heroes. Honestly… he never thought he'd live like this, not in a million years. But if it was what Lelouch wanted, he would keep up the charade until his heart gave out. That didn't mean that there hadn't been a few bumps along the way, though.

-----------------

"_Zero." At the sound of the unfamiliar voice, Suzaku jumped slightly and turned. "I'm sorry, Zero. But I'll have you die now. The crime you have committed is unforgivable." Suzaku frowned under the mask. If there was one thing he hated, it was having a gun pointed at him. "I have no ill intention toward you, sir. If you turn around and walk away, I'll forget that this happened."_

_The man opposite Suzaku threw off the helmet he was wearing, revealing it to be Toudou. "I told that girl, Kallen. I knew it from the very moment you plunged your blade into the emperor. You are not the real Zero. Knowing this, I cannot continue to follow you. And, knowing this, it appears that you've killed the real Zero. This is the unforgivable crime. Evil as that man surely was, he was our leader. And for you to kill and impersonate him…" He took a step closer._

"_I don't know who's planted this information in your head, Toudou, but as far as I'm concerned, you have no evidence that I am, in fact, not Zero. So, I will ask you just once more. Walk away, and I will forget this happened." Toudou snorted audibly. "That. That, right there. That's my evidence. The real Zero would have already killed me without hesitation. You're too soft to be him." _

_This caught Suzaku off guard. He growled under his breath. He'd have to remedy that part of his personality. It'd be hard, but he could do it. He snapped his fingers, and a man, clad in a uniform that was reminiscent of his old Knight of Zero one, appeared. "Schneizel." The man bowed. "Yes, my lord." Suzaku hesitated for a moment. He could see Lelouch in that moment, when he was dictating to him how to become Zero. "Kill any and all dissenters," he'd said. "It may be hard for you to do at first, but I have faith in your ability to make the right decisions."_

"_What is this trick? Schneizel el Brittania… this man was pronounced dead after The Battle of Damocles!" Toudou spat. Suzaku couldn't help but smirk. This part of Lelouch's personality had blended so effortlessly into his own. "Some rise again, Toudou. He's come back from the depths of Hell to fight for me." He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. "Schneizel. Kill him." With that, he turned around, and with a flourish of his cape, was walking away. "Yes, my lord!" He could distinctly hear when the fight began. The snap of gunshots filling the air and the clash of swords. _

_Schneizel would win. His Geass command was to obey Zero, and this meant that, unlike Toudou, he would make risky moves in order to carry out his orders. This was what made him superior, and why he would win. He turned back to look, just in time to see a stray bullet flying toward him. He managed to move mostly out of the way, but the projectile grazed his helmet, breaking a hole through it. He had the distinct feeling that he was bleeding from somewhere on his face. Hand over the area, he made his way back to the Black Knights' compound._

_Of course, upon seeing him, Kallen immediately began fussing over it. "ZERO!" She rushed over. "Zero, you're bleeding! What happened? Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy?" He held up a hand to silence her. "Toudou. It's been taken care of. I believe he managed to shoot me. I'm not sure where the bullet hit, but it just grazed my face somewhere. I may need stitches, but it's nothing to worry about." He regretted saying it immediately after, as she wouldn't let him out of her sight until he let her look at it._

_She pulled him into an unoccupied room and glared at him until he finally gave in and pulled his helmet up on the left side. "Mm… he did get you." Suzaku winced as she started poking at the area. "But like you said, it's nothing to worry about. Actually, it's so small that just cleaning it and bandaging it should do." And of course, he'd have to fix the mask, he finished in his head. He went to pull the helmet back down, but she stopped him. _

"_Didn't you hear me? I said I'm going to clean and bandage it." Suzaku frowned. "You didn't say anything of the sort." He retorted. Despite his protests, she spent the next while swabbing at the wound with some kind of mixture that stung like HELL, which he made sure to let her know, and then applied a thin bandage to it. "There you go, good as new." She smiled slightly. "Could have done it myself…" he muttered._

-----------------

"Zero?" Suzaku shook his head. He'd spaced out. "Hm?" A chuckle answered him. "You were off in your own little world there for a while. We're getting ready to go. Do you want me to have them box up the rest of your cake?" He thought for a moment, then nodded. "Some of the guys are going out drinking after this. I know you don't like that kind of thing, so I guess if there was something else you wanted to do, you could do it now." She remarked as she walked away.

His gaze fell on her with a suspicious look. There was no way she could possibly know what he was planning. He sighed. It looked like he'd have to take precautions to make sure he wasn't followed. And to think, he thought they'd had this unspoken rule of 'don't ask where I'm going, it's not your business'. But he supposed if she was suspicious of his identity, she would do her best to find out what he was doing when he left the compound alone.

It was the logical thing to do, and he certainly couldn't fault her for it. He'd just have to make sure she didn't succeed. Not that he couldn't come up with an explanation if she ever did ask. It was just easier, and perhaps better, to keep things as they were as much as possible. Best to make sure she had no reason to ask questions.

They had all been suspicious at first, but gradually came to accept him as the true Zero. She was the only one that seemed to still have doubts. But it was of no consequence, as it also seemed that as time went by, she was slowly accepting it as well. And he would give her no reason to think otherwise.

-.-.-.-.-**TBC**-.-.-.-.-

_Thank you to everyone for the reviews so far, keep them coming! I hope you'll all continue to like the story as it goes along. x3_

_Oh, and btw, I came up with my own name for the last battle. It's not officially named The Battle of Damocles, I don't think. xD  
_

_-Beta'd by UKELICIOUS!  
_


	3. Move 03: Emotion

**Move 03: Emotion**

"Hey, Lelouch. It's been a little while, huh? Sorry. Been kind of hard to get away lately." Suzaku rested his hand on the ebony stone, which glittered a pale violet in the dying sunlight, reminding him of Lelouch's eyes. "Don't worry, everything's under control down here. It's all still peaceful." He kneeled down next to the grave, as was his habit. "How long's it been, since then? Has it been a year already?" He smiled a watery smile, trying to hold back the tears pricking up in his eyes. It didn't take him very long to get emotional when he came here.

"I still have that dream nearly every night. Well… it's not so much a dream, is it? It really happened." He sniffled. "There's something that really bothers me, Lelouch." He ran his hand along the length of the stone. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I know you said it was the only way… but did you really want to die like that? And I never got the chance to tell you that I loved you. I know you knew, you had to. But I wanted to tell you. I wonder all the time, what could have been."

Suzaku coughed. He always choked on his tears. "Sometimes I think it would be better for me to just let you go and move on with my life, but I know I could never do that. I loved you so much, and never got to tell you. And I still do. You'll always be a part of me. It sounds so cliche, but it's the truth." He paused and let out a laugh. "I suppose in more ways than one." He clutched the cape around him. The uniform still held Lelouch's smell… and that confidently light aura that he had always exuded. Even when the odds were stacked high against him, he never lost his cool. That was one of the things Suzaku had liked most about him.

"Nunnally's doing well. I know you worry about her. But you don't have to. She's grown into a lovely young woman, and she's a great Empress. The world is lucky to have her. Of course… the world was lucky to have you. They just didn't realize it." He lifted the helmet to wipe at his eyes. "So, in the end, I guess you got what you wanted, huh? A world where Nunnally could live in peace, right?" He laughed lightly. "You know, I'm still half convinced that this is all a dream, and I'm going to wake up back at Ashford, during our school days. You remember, don't you? I keep thinking that, but it never happens."

Suzaku closed his eyes. "Some days I have half a mind to take a gun to my head and end it, I really do. But, I know you wouldn't want it to end for me that way, even though there were times when you probably did, eh?" He lifted a hand and nested it into his bangs. His skin was blazing, he could feel it. That happened every time he came here, every time he cried like this.

"We were so stupid back then, weren't we? We both said and did things that we shouldn't have. I know I apologized to you before, but I just want to say it again. I'm so very sorry, Lelouch. Really. I was so angry about Euphie… I really didn't have a mind of my own during that time. It was revenge, revenge, revenge, constantly. I… still think things could have gone differently. But, now that I know everything, I can see why it had to be done as it was. I'm… not sure if I can ever completely forgive you for it. But, everyone makes mistakes. I know that all too well myself."

He smiled. "It's like they say: 'To err is human, to forgive divine.' Anyway… if you could, say hi to her for me, would you? Tell her everything's fine, that… that her Japan is very beautiful and prosperous, and, most of all, peaceful. And don't get mad. I may have… loved her at one point, but… I've loved you for a lot longer, just know that."

His voice was breaking as he spoke, he could hear it. That could only mean one thing, the next round of tears was coming up soon. "I'm forever wishing that I could somehow bring you back, even just for a moment, so I could hold you again and tell you I love you. We're human… we were born to die. But… you went too soon, Lelouch. It wasn't your time. And, damn it, I miss you."

He pounded the wet ground as he spoke, his tears saturating it further. He hated that Lelouch could always make him like this, even after he'd been gone so long. He sniffled. "Some people say it's not about how much time you have, it's what you do with it. You… did a lot with your time, it's true. But you had so much left. To end it, in that way… I may be out of line by saying this, since I'm the one that did it, but… it just wasn't fair, Lelouch. There were so many things left unexplored, and you faded away before they could be." His tears fell on the ground directly above where he knew Lelouch was resting.

"I'm asking for a miracle here, I know. But, just come back to me, Lelouch. Please. You were a miracle worker, weren't you? Didn't you say that so many times? Then… just work one more and come back to me, damn it." Suzaku buried his face in the grass. It was useless. Even Lelouch couldn't rise from the dead. "But… maybe that's not what you want." He continued, voice muffled. "Maybe you don't want to come back to this blood traitor, that's double-crossed so many people."

He was wheezing at this point, he knew. But he didn't care. No one would see or hear him in this forgotten corner of the graveyard. "I even double-crossed you, didn't I? I sold you to the Emperor, and for what? Status? A fancy Knight's title? I'm not worthy of having you, if that's how little you mean to me." He shook his head against the ground. "But it's not! You're everything to me. That was… my revenge, for Euphie, I guess. Or part of it, anyway. I don't know… I held such resentment for you back then. I don't know how it ever got that deep. When I helped the Emperor rewrite your memory… at that point in time, I didn't care what happened to you. I kept telling myself you were getting what you deserved. But I couldn't bring myself to believe it. It wasn't too long before it started to eat away at me."

"Within that year that you didn't have your real memories, you seemed to be so happy, living a normal life. I used that fact to delude myself into thinking I'd done the right thing, when I knew I hadn't. You weren't really happy with your real siblings locked away from you. I sold my best friend, the one I loved, and his real happiness, for status and trinkets, which I actually used to fight against you with later. And all because of some petty revenge." He tore at the grass around him. "Lelouch… come back… please. I'm sorry for everything, so sorry… I messed up, a lot of times. I'll readily admit it. Please, just come back. Let me have another chance…"

"Kururugi Suzaku." A voice echoed from behind him and he gasped, scrambling to pull Zero's helmet back on properly. Although, he thought, what good would it do, since the person already knew who he was. His first thought was that it was Kallen, but… it didn't sound like her. And he had specifically made sure that he had given her a job before he left, to keep her busy while he was gone, and checked repeatedly for any signs of her following him. He turned, eyes widening at what he saw. "You're… what are you doing here, CC?"

-.-.-.-.-**TBC**-.-.-.-.-

_Cliffhanger endings are cliffhanger-y. I bet you didn't expect this, huh? I certainly didn't. When I wrote it, I was like WTF. xD  
_

_Next chapter coming soon. I promise I won't leave you hanging for long. As always, reviews are encouraged. Be sure to let me know if I start to FAIL. xD  
_

_-Beta'd by UKELICIOUS!_


	4. Move 04: Deal

**Move 04: Deal**

CC moved towards Suzaku, and it almost seemed as though she was floating above the ground slightly. "Terribly sad." He looked down, wondering exactly how long she'd been there. "But you… you're pathetic. What a joke. You were a Knight of Rounds, weren't you? And his Knight of Zero… I really would have thought that you were stronger than this." His eyes hardened slightly.

She continued, seeming to be satisfied with the reaction. "You were the only person Lelouch ever really trusted. He relied on your strength. I wonder if he knew you'd be reduced to a sobbing mess on his grave one day. What would he say if he saw you now?" She smirked, and he had half a mind to punch it off her face, the fact that she was immortal and a woman made no difference to him at this point.

He'd destroyed those that tarnished the meaning of the Zero Requiem before, and he would do it again. Yes, he'd broken one of those last rules Lelouch had set for him, which, other than these situations, he had lived by faithfully, and he knew the other would understand why. They all saw his face, but none had survived to report to their friends that Suzaku Kururugi still lived.

"But, I didn't come here to make fun of you. I knew you would be here. And so, I've come to offer you a deal." Suzaku eyed her warily. Lelouch had warned him that she might do this. She was the only remaining link to Geass. "I don't want Geass. You can forget it." A hearty laugh erupted from the girl. "Oh no. You don't have the right kind of disposition for Geass. I was talking about Lelouch." He felt the hair prickle up on the back of his neck. Lelouch… he knew she'd been attached to him. She'd tried to stop him from going through with the Zero Requiem. "What about Lelouch?" CC waved her hand dismissively. "I'm willing to bring him back for you, for a price."

He hesitated for a moment. "What kind of trick is this? You liked him, didn't you? Why haven't you revived him on your own, then?" The slight acid in his tone seemed to go unnoticed. "You might say, Kururugi Suzaku, that I am an opportunistic woman. I knew what his death had done to you, I just had to wait for the right time to present my offer."

Her gaze met his, and he almost recoiled at the sudden intensity in her eyes. "This is no trick, Suzaku. He was my last chance to die. This world is filled with weak willed and deceitful people. I've been around long enough to know all the tricks. The others I've contracted with haven't had a strong enough will to free me, to take my Code, as it were. This is my deal. I will bring him back for you, if you are willing to take my Code, and along with it, my immortality."

He wrinkled his nose. "I've got no reason to trust you, witch. You don't have that kind of power." Her chuckle grated on his nerves. "But, you've also no reason **NOT** to trust me. And you're **REALLY** in a position right now to be talking about power, sniveling on the ground like you are. Are you really going to let your only chance slip away, Suzaku? Weren't you just saying you wanted him back?"

Suzaku gritted his teeth. Lelouch had told him, warned him, to never accept Geass, especially not from her. And he had also sworn to himself that he never would, after all the work Lelouch had done to get rid of it. It was a large part of the reason he'd wanted to be killed, wasn't it? But this… they never accounted for anything like this. Against his better judgment, he found himself blurting out "Is there any way… we could split your Code?"

CC drew back a bit, obviously surprised. "What do you mean by that?" He made a fist around his cape. He'd taken the first step, he couldn't stop now. He would at least explore the possibility. "I mean, if you bring him back and I'm immortal, it will be a waste, since he will eventually die again. I don't want him to have to suffer it a second time. And I don't want the pain of losing him again. I want him to stay with me forever. Will it work?" She returned to her previous position, eyes filled with curiosity.

"You are an interesting person, Kururugi Suzaku. You kill him one minute, and the next, you love him and don't want him to die." He frowned. "I've always loved him. Sometimes it was just suppressed by other things. Emotions got in the way. I don't need **YOU** chiding me about it, I already feel bad enough." She seemed to consider it for a moment, smiling contently. "I suppose there's no reason why it couldn't be done. I'd never thought of it before. But I wonder if he will really want it?"

She shrugged. "At any rate, it will take him a few days to recover enough that his body is ready to accept the Code. I will leave the decision up to him then. We will see if he accepts your proposal, or if you will end up alone forever, like me." He hesitated a moment, then nodded fiercely. This would be his only chance, he had to take the risk, no matter how high the stakes were.

If Lelouch really didn't want to stay with him, he would accept it. But that didn't mean he wouldn't try to change the other's mind if it came down to that. "I accept your terms." The mark on CC's forehead began to glow a faint red. "A wise decision." Suzaku swallowed thickly, acknowledging the fact that he'd just made a proverbial deal with the devil. His name was on the dotted line, and he would wait anxiously to see if Lelouch's would join it. He would try his best to make sure that it did.

He moved back a bit as a storm started swirling around the area. CC floated a bit higher and started chanting. A bolt of lightning crashed onto the grave, and Suzaku shielded his eyes. When he looked again, Lelouch's coffin was breaking out of the ground. He slapped at his face to be sure he wasn't dreaming, and the sting seemed to confirm that he wasn't. Normally, this would be a grim sight, and he would stop her; it was morally corrupt, it was a terrible thing to be doing, but… he would do anything if it meant having Lelouch back. Even this. "Lelouch…"

The coffin set down to the ground gently, and all was still for a moment. All of a sudden, Suzaku heard gasps and coughs coming from inside. "Lelouch… Lelouch!" Suzaku clawed at the door, prying it open relatively quickly. "Su...zaku?" Suzaku bit his lip to keep the tears from flowing. Having Lelouch in front of him again was just an indescribable feeling. "Lelouch…" Lelouch coughed, then stretched slowly. "Suzaku… what's?" He coughed again. Suzaku's eyes swept over Lelouch, still in his emperor's robe. His gaze caught when it passed the tear in the chest. "Suzaku… are you… you haven't… died? No… this is… what IS this?"

Suzaku shook his head with a watery smile. "Lelouch… welcome back." Lelouch's eyes widened in disbelief as he repeated the phrase, and he finally noticed CC standing there. "What have you done, CC? This has your stench all over it. Why did you bring me back? My job is done. The Zero Requiem is finished. There's no reason… from what Suzaku's told me, the world is at peace. So, why? If this is just you being selfish, I swear…"

Suzaku sniffled. "You… you did hear me." Lelouch finally looked at him, those deep violet eyes seeming to have regained their glimmer. "Well, of course I did. You came here to talk to me all those times, didn't you? Of course, I couldn't respond, but I did hear you. I always found myself wondering, 'what will Suzaku have to say today?'" Suzaku smiled in return, wanting so badly to reach out and grab the other, to touch him, to make sure this was real.

"How touching." CC teased, rolling her eyes. "Lelouch. You asked me why. It's not me you should be asking." He looked at her, frowning slightly. "You revived me." She nodded slightly. "I did. But not for my own reasons alone." Lelouch again turned his gaze to Suzaku. "Suzaku, you didn't." Suzaku averted his eyes. "I didn't take Geass, if that's what you mean. I would never forget all the things you told me."

A small sigh escaped Lelouch. "I came to our dear Suzaku with a deal, and he accepted." Lelouch's eyes swept between the other two. "But, he just told me that he didn't take Geass. He doesn't have a reason to lie to me… No. He would never lie to me." Suzaku felt his cheeks warm slightly. "Lelouch…" CC's chuckle came again, causing Suzaku to shiver. "Oh, no. Perish the thought. He did something much better for me. He agreed to take my Code in exchange for reviving you. He just so happens to meet the special condition. The loophole, if you will. I'll finally die, Lelouch. No matter what happens now."

Lelouch's eyes widened, and Suzaku flushed. "But… Suzaku, why?" Suzaku winced. "I thought you would have known… I just wanted you back. I wanted to see you again, for no matter how long." He stated, trying to keep his voice flat. "And it gets better, Lelouch. He had the curious idea of splitting the Code with you. I believe he had some kind of fairy tale notion that the two of you could be together forever or some nonsense." CC interjected in a mocking tone, laughing heartily. Suzaku's flush deepened, and he scowled at her. She was making him look like a child, and he certainly didn't appreciate it. "Suzaku… did you consider what would happen if I didn't want that? Tell me you didn't make a rash decision based on emotion alone."

Suzaku winced again. That had stung. "But, Lelouch…" Lelouch finally sat up in the coffin. "I've lived my life, Suzaku. You need to move on. Stop clinging to me. You'll never really be my successor as Zero until you give me up. No, you'll never be a better Zero. Zero had Nunnally to worry about, and you have no one. You have so much potential, Suzaku, such opportunity… but you waste your time on me, a man who died for the sake of the world, and has no business being alive anymore. Why can't you just let go?" Suzaku felt the color drain from his face. This wasn't turning out at all like he'd thought it would. "Lelouch… please. Just give it a chance. I'm begging you. You're already here… just think about it. That's all I'm asking."

CC smirked briefly, then returned to her usually vacant expression. She didn't normally allow emotion to escape her, but this situation was just too entertaining. "You have four days, Lelouch. If you haven't changed your mind by then, I'll put you back." Lelouch thought for a moment, then nodded. Whatever happened, Suzaku had to make the next four days count. He'd change Lelouch's mind, no matter what it took.

-.-.-.-.-**TBC**-.-.-.-.-

_Lelouch is being a bitch atm, yes. But that's the way he is. xD_

_Don't worry, I'm sure he'll come around._ _x3_

_-Beta'd by UKELICIOUS!_


	5. Move 05: Life

**Move 05: Life**

The first day of Lelouch's new life was awkward. Suzaku had spent most of it helping him regain bodily function, stretching out his arms and legs and such. By the afternoon he was walking around the apartment like nothing had ever happened.

Their relationship had always been an odd one. For the longest time, they had straddled the line between friend and enemy, especially in the last two years that Lelouch was alive. It was only after he was gone that Suzaku realized that lingering feeling he'd had, the thing that just wouldn't go away when everything else had, was his love for the other.

Lelouch's old clothes were still in Suzaku's closet. He didn't know why he'd kept them. He supposed that the Suzaku of a year ago either had some kind of hyper intuition or something else that he couldn't fathom. Over the past year, he had pulled those clothes out several times, just to breathe in Lelouch's scent again, and for a moment, delude himself into thinking he was holding the other in his arms.

He hadn't understood why for the longest time, but when he finally did get it, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He shook the memories away as Lelouch re-entered. After he'd shed the old Emperor garb and taken a shower, he looked good as new. As if… as if he'd never died. "Lelouch…"

Those piercing violet eyes fell on Suzaku. "Hm?"

The brunette smiled. "You look good."

Lelouch flipped his hair. "Ah."

As Lelouch passed, Suzaku grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit beside him. "Can you just sit for a minute, please? There are things we need to talk about."

Suzaku tried to be serious, but really he was just a little hurt at what Lelouch had said before. "I want to know, Lelouch… how do you feel about me now?" The raven looked a little taken aback by the question. "I know our relationship has been… strange, I guess you could say rocky, in the past, but… when 'it' happened, do you remember what you said to me?" Lelouch turned away, but Suzaku grasped his chin and stared straight into his eyes, blazing green meeting violet.

"You told me you loved me, Lelouch. And I believed it. I still do. I know you didn't think you'd ever see me again, but here you are. And I want an answer."

Lelouch nodded slightly. "I did say that. I remember." A soft smile appeared on his face. Suzaku recognized it instantly as his. "And it was something that was important to me, because I do remember it. I only remember very important things clearly. Everything else has a haze over it. My brain has been shut down for a year, according to you."

Suzaku winced. That's right, Lelouch was essentially a zombie now. But he still looked perfect; his skin had regained its soft peach tone, and he was warm… nothing like any zombies that Suzaku had ever heard of. "I changed my life for you, Lelouch. I turned my back on the old Britannia for you, I became your Knight of Zero. And I'm prepared to do any and all of it again, if you ever want it."

Lelouch swept his hand across Suzaku's cheek and let it rest there. "I know, my dear Knight. I know. The fact that I'm here is evidence enough of that." Suzaku sniffled. This was pathetic. He'd turned into someone who cried at the drop of a hat. Although, it was usually Lelouch's fault, he mused.

Back then, when he killed Lelouch, he'd cried for his friend, he'd cried for his sworn brother… and unwittingly, he'd cried for his lost love. They'd both done things they shouldn't have, and it had fallen to Suzaku to harvest Lelouch's soul for his mistakes, like some sort of proverbial Grim Reaper. He'd convinced himself he was doing it, all of it, for Euphie… but in the end, his heart had proved him all wrong, because he was able to move on from her death, but never Lelouch's.

All he had been doing was operating on emotions alone, a habit that had come back after Euphie was gone. And all to get a revenge that he may have fleetingly wanted, but when it was all said and done, he realized he'd made a very big mistake. The plan had succeeded, and the world became peaceful as they both had wanted. Nunnally was happy, and he knew Euphie would have been, had she still been alive. The only one who wasn't happy was Suzaku himself. The act of getting to that point left his heart in pieces.

He'd convinced himself back then that he had joined Lelouch for the Zero Requiem to get all the world's hate focused on them, and then get his final revenge for Euphie's death. That was the plan, almost verbatim. He thought he would be happy when it was all over, but to the contrary, he became more miserable than ever. Evil as Lelouch had become, he was still his best friend, and though he didn't know it at the time, he still loved him, no matter what.

That last night, he really, truly considered backing out. Lelouch came to see him, and they just talked. No formalities, as if they young again. After getting closer to Lelouch through all that time working with him, any desire to kill him was all but gone. And especially on that last night, he'd seen the Lelouch that was his best friend, not the demon emperor, and not Zero. It was the Lelouch that he'd spent childhood with, the one he'd fallen in love with. He remembered having a desire to just hold Lelouch then, to keep him close… to try to find another way. At the time, he'd thought it strange.

"Suzaku, you have to kill me. You must promise." Those words had sounded so wrong coming from Lelouch's mouth. Then, just a few hours later, he'd done it. He'd expected to feel the burden lifted from his shoulders, but it only got heavier.

"The punishment for what you've done shall be this, then. You will live on, always wearing that mask, serving as a knight for justice and truth. You will no longer live your life as Suzaku Kururugi. You shall sacrifice the ordinary pleasures of your life for the benefit of the world… for eternity." It was as if time had stopped around them. Lelouch paused, then shuddered violently with the sword pressed through his body. "I love you, Suzaku… I'm sorry." He'd whispered, nearly inaudibly, as time seemed to start flowing again. The crowd's noise nearly drowned them out, but Suzaku remembered those, Lelouch's last words to him, clear as crystal.

"This Geass, I do solemnly accept." He'd replied, eyes welling with tears. He saw that slight smile on Lelouch's face as he staggered forward, so he must have heard.

Even when he'd hated Lelouch the most, just after he'd killed Euphie, deep down, buried under the hate and anger, the love was still there, lying dormant. And no matter what Lelouch did, it was never completely snuffed out. To that day, it hadn't been. If anything, it had grown stronger since he'd realized and accepted it. If he'd only noticed it before…

"Lelouch…" He snapped back to reality. No more reminiscing, Lelouch was here now, and he had four days to convince him to spend eternity with him, literally. But he would give it his all. He wouldn't lose the other again without a fight.

It seemed a daunting task, but he was confident that if he just showed Lelouch that there was so much more to life after the Zero Requiem, he would agree to stay by his side. "You never answered my question, Lelouch. You remember saying it, you said. But do you still feel that way now?"

Lelouch's eyes softened slightly. "I do." He stretched. "I wasn't sure what to think when I woke up in that coffin. I vaguely thought I heard your voice, but I couldn't tell. Then I saw you, and everything came flooding back."

"If you still love me, then what's the problem with staying?" Suzaku pressed.

"I've lived my life, Suzaku. I told you. If you hadn't struck a deal with CC, I would have stayed gone forever, which is how it was intended. Not that I haven't bent the laws of nature and existence before, but… I don't know. It just feels wrong. I should still be in an eternal sleep in my grave, but instead, I'm here sitting next to you. You, who once told me that I shouldn't exist." He folded his arms.

"But… Lelouch, I… I didn't really mean that. I was angry. You'd just killed Euphie. I thought I loved her. But I…" His voice trailed off, but then he looked up at Lelouch with a determined look. "It wasn't her that I really loved, it was you. I just didn't realize it until you were gone, and my anger had faded away. I was, in my own way, begging you to give up the path you'd set for yourself. I didn't want anything to happen to you. Yes, I killed the demon emperor, I killed Zero… but I also killed the Lelouch that I'd known. The Lelouch that I didn't realize I loved, until it was too late. But now I have another chance… wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

Lelouch paused, then scoffed after a moment. "Love, love, love. You throw that word around a lot. If you use it so much, it loses its sense of sincerity."

In a flash, Suzaku seized both of Lelouch's wrists and crushed their lips together. He pulled away roughly after a moment, leaving Lelouch shocked, his lips slightly swelled. "This time, I will show you. That's what I've wanted the most this past year without you. I'm going to take the opportunities that have been presented to me. I will convince you that I'm sincere."

Lelouch smirked. "You're on, Suzaku. I accept your challenge. Show me everything, make me want to stay, in this life with you, forever." Suzaku stared back, eyes blazing. He'd pull out all the stops this time. He'd make Lelouch see. This was his ultimate gamble, he couldn't afford to lose.

**-.-.-.-.-TBC-.-.-.-.-**

_Gah. I'm SO sorry. I totally lost all motivation for this story for a while. But now I've picked it back up and am on a writing streak, so rejoice. xD_

_I appreciate all the reviews! The new structure of the story proves that I do actually read them! xD  
_

_Oh, and as a note, I've written some sexy tiem in future chapters, so the rating's been changed to reflect that.  
_


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